The Drunken Taoist #9 – NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR CHRIS “EVEN BETTER THAN FABIO” RYAN

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Intro:

Today’s guest is NY Times best-selling author Christopher Ryan. Great mix of fun and insightful. I had a blast chatting with him.

  • Daniele’s adventure at the Playboy Mansion
  • “All the power to fake boobs. All the power to real boobs. All the power to any boobs.”
  • Duncan Trussell is our viagra pusher
  • Introducing Christopher “Even Better Than Fabio” Ryan
  • Chris hangs out with a black mormon in Alaska and ends up in jail for a week for stealing a Snickers bar.
  • If you plan on heading to jail, we strongly suggest you visit Fairbanks, Alaska
  • Chris’ job list: teaching English to pregnant Thai hookers, translating from Ebonics into English, teaching martial arts to land activists in Mexico, negotiating deals with Hasidic Jewish diamond dealers, etc.
  • Chris saves a hot Puerto Rican lady from a monkey
  • Scholars hate him–which makes me like him even more
  • Jealousy is not a sign you care. It’s a sign you are a possessive control freak
  • 13 year-old Daniele and his dreams of a hooker/teacher. Hookers as “goddesses of mercy.”
  • Uncomfortable with their horn dog natures, too many people feel the need to justify sex through love
  • Rule # 1 for taming an indigenous society: send missionaries to preach against free sex
  • How to live in a society we are not genetically programmed for
  • Capitalism: eliminate freely available goods in order to sell you a poor imitation
  • Sexual shame as a tool to control people
  • 40% of Western women rarely or never have orgasms!
  • Give Chris his own TV Show! “The scholars are going to scoff, but… fuck it!”

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